My problem is my parents hate my boyfriend. My parents and I are close and I respect thier opinions. My boyfriend and I are in our early 30's. They cannont stand my boyfriend because they claim he is ';not good enough for me, ugly, lower class and bad mannered';. A couple of times I met my my boyfriend for dinner and my parents stalked me then told me my every move on the phone and argued with me about dating him at all. My parents constantly try to get me to date someone else and have even tryed to put a profile up for me on a dating website.
Now about my boyfriend. Badside first: a bit of a temper but not violent. Very serious about work sometimes and ignores other things to put work first. Has a jealous streak. A bit controling. Goodside: Makes sure he provides for me with anything I need, treats me wonderfully when not focused on work. Is respectful and caring with good family values.Relationship Advice Needed - help!?
I am glad that you and your parents are close.
It's fine to respect their decision, but that doesn't mean you need to agree with it.
Since you and your parents are so close, I suggest sitting down with them and openly and honestly discussing each others feelings and thoughts on the matter (if you haven't already).
Explain to them that anybody that makes you happy and that loves you for all of who you are (and you return that love equally), should make them happy too.
They don't have to like him, but they do need to respect YOUR opinion as much as you respect THEIRS.
See how it has been a bit one-sided on their part?
Now I'm not pointing any fingers or anything, but everything needs to be shoved into the open.
Also, you need to decide if your boyfriend is worth all of this trouble.
Does he make you happy and love you in the way I described above?
And if so, do you return those feelings?
If any of those are a not-quite or a flat-out no, then I don't suggest causing a rut between your parents and you over him.
Anyway...be confident in yourself.
You are perfectly capable of making the best decision for yourself.
I hope my advice helped and I apologize if it didn't.
Take care!Relationship Advice Needed - help!?
they could be sensing things u cannot.they are muchmore experienced. why not try to get them open up more to u.all the best.
You answered your own question, He puts you second from work. If I was serious about a woman, she would be first and foremost.
dump him
Well...'cause you're in love with him you don't think those ';bad things about him'; are so bad. But let me tell you something, if you might marry that guy in the future, then you will see the real him 100%. And the other things is: you need to be proud of the person you're with. Are you proud of him cause he's jealous? Are you proud of his bad manners? Love is blind. Your parents are very objective with their opinion.
hon, I can see both points a view here. what you need to do is ask yourself. Do you really love him and want to fight for him, love is unconditional and i do see good qualities in your guy. make a list or the pros's and con's. study that for awhile maybe you will be able to come to a decision for yourself. Then ask your parents nicely well not ask but tell them look your 30 years old. It is time you live and make your own life good or bad, how else are you going to learn what is a good relationship/ not. I hope I was of some help. I've been in your shoes about to long to recall. But I think you get my point here.
My wishes are with you and hope all works out in your favor.
Well that is not an easy place to be i am presently in some what of a situation like that my mother in law hates me and has basically made me so miserable there is a wedge in my relationship till i don't know where i stand but for you honey if you love and are sure about him speak with your parents ask them why they're reating that way towards him but in the end remember no matter what they have said they have lived there lives already mistakes and all and you now have to live yours but what i am scared about is the temper problem he has speak to him about it also and if you both intend to be in a commited and strond relationship he has to give a little on some of the above things you have mentioned because providing for you with everything doesn't mean he should ignore you that makes it seem like a parent turning on the television and leaving it to babysit the kid so she won't be disturbed and it seems a little controlling too like he can give you stuff to shut you up but get all three people together and let them know how you feel in the end it will save your sanity.
I can understand your parents concern since he does not sound like a very good catch at all. The temper would bother me. He puts work first would bother me. Being jealous would bother me. These are very important qualities to consider and you are the one saying all of this!!! You seem to be making excuses for him. He does not seem to be someone who I would plan a future with at all. If you are in your 30's, I would think that you would be seriously looking at a committed, married relationship and I think that you would be very sorry if you continued with this guy. However, it is your life and should do as you please in that department. You need to set boundaries with your parents that you will not discuss your relationships with them.....period. You are not a little girl who needs their permission. You need to take control in this area. Stop allowing them to beat you up and criticise you. If they start on you.....remind them of the boundaries and if they do not stop........walk away.....leave. Stand up for yourself. Now, do you get both of these concepts???? Good......now take some control over your life and make good decisions.
Ummmmm, you are a grown up in your 30s. Tell your parents that you appreciate their looking out for you but that because you are an adult, they need to back off and let you make your own decisions. That is so sad they stalk you and try to tell you who to date when you are in your 30s. They need to get a life if they still want to monitor yours. They are far too controlling but the thing is, you let them. You need to stand up for yourself.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Relationship Advice?!? PLEASE HELP?
My girlfriend and I were together for 8 months and I started being up her @$$ a lot and sort of smothering her plus I am 2 years older and I am more committed and she felt I was forcing her to commit and be there all the time.
I always have treated her right and I buy her just aboiut everything (I'm somewhat whipped, you could say)
Well, we broke up because of the way I was smothering her and then I took people's advice and didn't call her for 3 days straight and then I ran into her at Wal-Mart in town and she broke down and confessed to me that she missed me a lot and she was sorry and we talked for about 20 minutes over a cup of coffee and I told her that we should spend more time with our friends and that we don't have to be together so much and she said she felt a lot better about things.
So... now that we resolved that, do you think this is a positive step and do we have a pretty good chance of making it? Or was it bad move?
All answers welcome!Relationship Advice?!? PLEASE HELP?
The mistake most men tend to make is buying TOO many gifts for their women.
Some women will take that in their advantage and it's not good for you to put yourself out there for her to do so.
Try cutting down on being down her throat about every little thing and don't buy her so much !!
If you stick to my advice I guarantee everything will work out just fine.
Just let everything fall into place.
and GOOD LUCK !!Relationship Advice?!? PLEASE HELP?
i think it is a great step in the right direction and i applaud you for your effort and the fact that you knew what was bothering her and actually asked her about it and i think you have a good chance as long as you stick with what you say and do it actions speak louder then words and the fact they you guys actually talked about is very great you would be surprised just how many couples do not talk about this stuff and good luck and congrats on getting her back i really wish you guys the best of luck , latter
You are attempting something for the benefit of a healthy relationship. How can that be a bad move? Good luck to you.
I agree with the person who said not to spend too much money. It's a nice gesture, but save your money.
If it's what you both want, then its a good move. Just respect her boundaries. If you want something she doesn't, then you need to move on and find someone who does. Don't try to change her, it will just make her unhappy and she'll resent you in the long run.
yes u made a good step!!
well it seems u really like this gurl alot and now that ur back together ur relationship with her is alot stroner then it was.
I commend you on your maturity in realizing ';smothering'; someone will break you up. If you keep your promise and don't do it again, you have a good chance of being together. I broke up with men for that exact thing, I hate being around someone 24/7. Being clingy and smothering are not good qualities. You both discussed it maturely and it worked out, only proving what I always say, communication is the thing that if you don't have it, you will never have a good relationship. I hope it works out for both of you.
i see great things evolving from this relationship
I think that you made a good decision. However, there is no mention here about whether you learned from your past mistakes or not. What led you to break up? Are you still repeating your old mistakes? If so, then stop. Try to sort out your own issues and ask her to help you. If she feels pressured, tell her to tell you so that you can learn to control it. Trust me, your relationship will be much better.
I think its good that your giving her her space because if your around her all the time she wont have a chance to miss you. Me and my boyfriend wont see each other for three or four days so that when we see each other its more special and i actually miss him. So I think what you did was good you cant force a woman to commit just relax and continue to love her but dont over do it
good job!
Of course is good, you know it's not your fault. Everyone need to have personal space, and everyone need their air. It is also why we are different in our unique way.
It's a VERY mature move. Everyone needs space even people in a relationship, it's called trust %26amp; that's a HUGE part to making something last long term. It's GOOD to be able to survive on your own socially w/o your bf/gf....we need to be our own person first %26amp; someones significantother, second.
I always have treated her right and I buy her just aboiut everything (I'm somewhat whipped, you could say)
Well, we broke up because of the way I was smothering her and then I took people's advice and didn't call her for 3 days straight and then I ran into her at Wal-Mart in town and she broke down and confessed to me that she missed me a lot and she was sorry and we talked for about 20 minutes over a cup of coffee and I told her that we should spend more time with our friends and that we don't have to be together so much and she said she felt a lot better about things.
So... now that we resolved that, do you think this is a positive step and do we have a pretty good chance of making it? Or was it bad move?
All answers welcome!Relationship Advice?!? PLEASE HELP?
The mistake most men tend to make is buying TOO many gifts for their women.
Some women will take that in their advantage and it's not good for you to put yourself out there for her to do so.
Try cutting down on being down her throat about every little thing and don't buy her so much !!
If you stick to my advice I guarantee everything will work out just fine.
Just let everything fall into place.
and GOOD LUCK !!Relationship Advice?!? PLEASE HELP?
i think it is a great step in the right direction and i applaud you for your effort and the fact that you knew what was bothering her and actually asked her about it and i think you have a good chance as long as you stick with what you say and do it actions speak louder then words and the fact they you guys actually talked about is very great you would be surprised just how many couples do not talk about this stuff and good luck and congrats on getting her back i really wish you guys the best of luck , latter
You are attempting something for the benefit of a healthy relationship. How can that be a bad move? Good luck to you.
I agree with the person who said not to spend too much money. It's a nice gesture, but save your money.
If it's what you both want, then its a good move. Just respect her boundaries. If you want something she doesn't, then you need to move on and find someone who does. Don't try to change her, it will just make her unhappy and she'll resent you in the long run.
yes u made a good step!!
well it seems u really like this gurl alot and now that ur back together ur relationship with her is alot stroner then it was.
I commend you on your maturity in realizing ';smothering'; someone will break you up. If you keep your promise and don't do it again, you have a good chance of being together. I broke up with men for that exact thing, I hate being around someone 24/7. Being clingy and smothering are not good qualities. You both discussed it maturely and it worked out, only proving what I always say, communication is the thing that if you don't have it, you will never have a good relationship. I hope it works out for both of you.
i see great things evolving from this relationship
I think that you made a good decision. However, there is no mention here about whether you learned from your past mistakes or not. What led you to break up? Are you still repeating your old mistakes? If so, then stop. Try to sort out your own issues and ask her to help you. If she feels pressured, tell her to tell you so that you can learn to control it. Trust me, your relationship will be much better.
I think its good that your giving her her space because if your around her all the time she wont have a chance to miss you. Me and my boyfriend wont see each other for three or four days so that when we see each other its more special and i actually miss him. So I think what you did was good you cant force a woman to commit just relax and continue to love her but dont over do it
good job!
Of course is good, you know it's not your fault. Everyone need to have personal space, and everyone need their air. It is also why we are different in our unique way.
It's a VERY mature move. Everyone needs space even people in a relationship, it's called trust %26amp; that's a HUGE part to making something last long term. It's GOOD to be able to survive on your own socially w/o your bf/gf....we need to be our own person first %26amp; someones significantother, second.
Why do people w/bad relationship experience (divorce, never married) always want to give relationship advice?
why is it, whenever you're in a relationship people (divorcees, spinsters, etc) always give unsolicited advice on how to get a man/please a man/keep a man?Why do people w/bad relationship experience (divorce, never married) always want to give relationship advice?
I don't think its as much divorcees, spinsters, etc. as much as it is that people always think they can solve whatever problems they think you have. (Look up Ralph Roughton's article on Listening.)
I know for some people who give advice, teach, etc...there's the old adage, ';Those that do, do. Those that don't, teach.';
In the end, I always tell my friends its easier for me to deal with other people's issues over my own because mine are a little too close to home. They're hard to handle. Stressful. And I rarely take my own advice!! LOL.Why do people w/bad relationship experience (divorce, never married) always want to give relationship advice?
Dont worry about that EVERYONE NOTICE thing, that was just my brother being stupid.
Just because someone is divorced or nevermarried doesn't mean that they don't have good advice to give, they may be able to give you different spin on it. I wouldn't diss it.
Thats a good question, I'm not sure maybe because they want to let people know what they did wrong.
I don't think its as much divorcees, spinsters, etc. as much as it is that people always think they can solve whatever problems they think you have. (Look up Ralph Roughton's article on Listening.)
I know for some people who give advice, teach, etc...there's the old adage, ';Those that do, do. Those that don't, teach.';
In the end, I always tell my friends its easier for me to deal with other people's issues over my own because mine are a little too close to home. They're hard to handle. Stressful. And I rarely take my own advice!! LOL.Why do people w/bad relationship experience (divorce, never married) always want to give relationship advice?
Dont worry about that EVERYONE NOTICE thing, that was just my brother being stupid.
Just because someone is divorced or nevermarried doesn't mean that they don't have good advice to give, they may be able to give you different spin on it. I wouldn't diss it.
Thats a good question, I'm not sure maybe because they want to let people know what they did wrong.
Relationship advice? Serious answers please!?
Ok I have been in a serious relationship with an older guy for 2 months. I am completely in love with him and he is wonderful to me. We have so much fun together and I know he is crazy about me. But here's the thing, there is a lot of baggage on his side. He was married young b/c his girlfriend at the time was pregnant, they seperated 6 months after the baby was born b/c she was crazy. Then 3 years ago his brother commited suicide and his wife took off with his child. Right now he is in the middle of divorcing her, she has to sign the papers. Because of all this he is a bit afraid of marriage and having kids again. So about a week ago I said ';I love you'; for the first time. He told me he was falling in love w/ me more everyday. It kind of hurt and I have not said it since. To make matters worse I work in a restaurant and a guy came %26amp; he left his number %26amp; a note. Well I called him and we went out to a late dinner that night. There was no kissing but he paid so it was like a date. Help!!Relationship advice? Serious answers please!?
1. Be patient with the first guy. he will respond when he is ready
2. Make up your mind. Either be with this guy or date around, but don't do both.Relationship advice? Serious answers please!?
whats the question?
Say goodbye to the married guy... no such thing as a ';serious'; relationship for just 2 months and better yet he is still married. Dont be stupid.... feel free to leave and start dating.
1. Be patient with the first guy. he will respond when he is ready
2. Make up your mind. Either be with this guy or date around, but don't do both.Relationship advice? Serious answers please!?
whats the question?
Say goodbye to the married guy... no such thing as a ';serious'; relationship for just 2 months and better yet he is still married. Dont be stupid.... feel free to leave and start dating.
Relationship Advice Needed Please....?
Im a 40yr. old woman who hasnt dated in over 10yrs. by choice, mainly because I was really hurt with my last relationship I decided to step away and analyze myself and heal...With that said I decided in this new yr. 2007 that I would like to start up a meaningful relationship with a nice guy and see where it goes, I happen to be very marriage minded, but of course I want to take things slowly and see where we end up...Well one day while at the mall shopping {my favorite past time}; I inadvertedly bumped into an old flame, it was really nice to see him, we exchanged numbers and that night talked on the phone for hrs. he came over the next day and spent some time with me, and we've been dating every since {just 4 weeks ago now}; anywho, he has some things about him I'm not too keen about he's very religious, while that doesnt bother me because I too believe in a higher power, what he says bothers me...I'm nearly out of room here but if you want to know more email me, I need advice badly.Relationship Advice Needed Please....?
Your old enough to know how you want to spend the rest of your life. These things he does that bother you... just how much do they bother you and are they things you can live with? Dont settle for second best. There is someone out there for all of us.Relationship Advice Needed Please....?
Girl, are you wanting to get married or just date? If your wanting more then you should consider what things the two of you have in common and go from there. If the religion thing is a bother then you should address it with him! Talking is the best way to enhance ones relationship!
There was a reason he was an old flame. Did you break up with him ? If you did has the reason changed or are you just a bit more desperate ? (sorry , dont know how else to say it )
If his religious views bother you then I would suggest you look elsewhere.
Your old enough to know how you want to spend the rest of your life. These things he does that bother you... just how much do they bother you and are they things you can live with? Dont settle for second best. There is someone out there for all of us.Relationship Advice Needed Please....?
Girl, are you wanting to get married or just date? If your wanting more then you should consider what things the two of you have in common and go from there. If the religion thing is a bother then you should address it with him! Talking is the best way to enhance ones relationship!
There was a reason he was an old flame. Did you break up with him ? If you did has the reason changed or are you just a bit more desperate ? (sorry , dont know how else to say it )
If his religious views bother you then I would suggest you look elsewhere.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Relationship advice - ladies please!?
im seeing an amazing girl atm but she was in a 2 year relationship with a **** who cheated on her over and over again and she kept going back to him
she finally finished with him over a year ago but hasnt had a boyfriend since and now i feel that she is really cautious about opening herself up - how do i get her to put her trust in me?
i would never hurt her and its getting me down a little that shes not opening up to me (altho i know its understandable)
thanksRelationship advice - ladies please!?
hiya, she has had a bad time with her ex,so it will take time, just let her come around herself.give her time to trust another man.if you like her, then be patient.do you think she is worth waiting for?as she gets to know you,and trust you, she will open up more each day.who knows she could turn out to be your soul mate.Relationship advice - ladies please!?
Never lie to her, even about the smallest thing because every time you do it'll knock you back to square one.
Give her time and space and constantly tell her how you feel about her. She will trust you in time, i speak from personal experience.
Try to be just a good friend, and friendship will evolve in lovepaper mask
she finally finished with him over a year ago but hasnt had a boyfriend since and now i feel that she is really cautious about opening herself up - how do i get her to put her trust in me?
i would never hurt her and its getting me down a little that shes not opening up to me (altho i know its understandable)
thanksRelationship advice - ladies please!?
hiya, she has had a bad time with her ex,so it will take time, just let her come around herself.give her time to trust another man.if you like her, then be patient.do you think she is worth waiting for?as she gets to know you,and trust you, she will open up more each day.who knows she could turn out to be your soul mate.Relationship advice - ladies please!?
Never lie to her, even about the smallest thing because every time you do it'll knock you back to square one.
Give her time and space and constantly tell her how you feel about her. She will trust you in time, i speak from personal experience.
Try to be just a good friend, and friendship will evolve in love
Relationship advice please helppppp.?
there is this guy, and he says he doesnt care about me as much as he used to... but i still love him... so much
what should I say to him? I asked him why he doesnt feel the same way and all he said was ';i dont know';
i dont want to say i love you, i just want him to know how much he means to me...Relationship advice please helppppp.?
You can try making him jealous by flirting with other people in front of him that will definately make him care..or at least notice you.Relationship advice please helppppp.?
These kinds of situations are hard. Men, especially young men, are a little more emotionally immature than their womanly counterparts. If I were in your shoes (and I have been before) I would write a letter saying exactly how you feel, not too long, but enough to really say what needs to be said. After that, the ball is in his court, if he responds, than you can take things from there. If not, grieve, but please not for long. Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. If the person you're with doesn't want it, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does.
what should I say to him? I asked him why he doesnt feel the same way and all he said was ';i dont know';
i dont want to say i love you, i just want him to know how much he means to me...Relationship advice please helppppp.?
You can try making him jealous by flirting with other people in front of him that will definately make him care..or at least notice you.Relationship advice please helppppp.?
These kinds of situations are hard. Men, especially young men, are a little more emotionally immature than their womanly counterparts. If I were in your shoes (and I have been before) I would write a letter saying exactly how you feel, not too long, but enough to really say what needs to be said. After that, the ball is in his court, if he responds, than you can take things from there. If not, grieve, but please not for long. Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. If the person you're with doesn't want it, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does.
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