My problem is my parents hate my boyfriend. My parents and I are close and I respect thier opinions. My boyfriend and I are in our early 30's. They cannont stand my boyfriend because they claim he is ';not good enough for me, ugly, lower class and bad mannered';. A couple of times I met my my boyfriend for dinner and my parents stalked me then told me my every move on the phone and argued with me about dating him at all. My parents constantly try to get me to date someone else and have even tryed to put a profile up for me on a dating website.
Now about my boyfriend. Badside first: a bit of a temper but not violent. Very serious about work sometimes and ignores other things to put work first. Has a jealous streak. A bit controling. Goodside: Makes sure he provides for me with anything I need, treats me wonderfully when not focused on work. Is respectful and caring with good family values.Relationship Advice Needed - help!?
I am glad that you and your parents are close.
It's fine to respect their decision, but that doesn't mean you need to agree with it.
Since you and your parents are so close, I suggest sitting down with them and openly and honestly discussing each others feelings and thoughts on the matter (if you haven't already).
Explain to them that anybody that makes you happy and that loves you for all of who you are (and you return that love equally), should make them happy too.
They don't have to like him, but they do need to respect YOUR opinion as much as you respect THEIRS.
See how it has been a bit one-sided on their part?
Now I'm not pointing any fingers or anything, but everything needs to be shoved into the open.
Also, you need to decide if your boyfriend is worth all of this trouble.
Does he make you happy and love you in the way I described above?
And if so, do you return those feelings?
If any of those are a not-quite or a flat-out no, then I don't suggest causing a rut between your parents and you over him.
Anyway...be confident in yourself.
You are perfectly capable of making the best decision for yourself.
I hope my advice helped and I apologize if it didn't.
Take care!Relationship Advice Needed - help!?
they could be sensing things u cannot.they are muchmore experienced. why not try to get them open up more to u.all the best.
You answered your own question, He puts you second from work. If I was serious about a woman, she would be first and foremost.
dump him
Well...'cause you're in love with him you don't think those ';bad things about him'; are so bad. But let me tell you something, if you might marry that guy in the future, then you will see the real him 100%. And the other things is: you need to be proud of the person you're with. Are you proud of him cause he's jealous? Are you proud of his bad manners? Love is blind. Your parents are very objective with their opinion.
hon, I can see both points a view here. what you need to do is ask yourself. Do you really love him and want to fight for him, love is unconditional and i do see good qualities in your guy. make a list or the pros's and con's. study that for awhile maybe you will be able to come to a decision for yourself. Then ask your parents nicely well not ask but tell them look your 30 years old. It is time you live and make your own life good or bad, how else are you going to learn what is a good relationship/ not. I hope I was of some help. I've been in your shoes about to long to recall. But I think you get my point here.
My wishes are with you and hope all works out in your favor.
Well that is not an easy place to be i am presently in some what of a situation like that my mother in law hates me and has basically made me so miserable there is a wedge in my relationship till i don't know where i stand but for you honey if you love and are sure about him speak with your parents ask them why they're reating that way towards him but in the end remember no matter what they have said they have lived there lives already mistakes and all and you now have to live yours but what i am scared about is the temper problem he has speak to him about it also and if you both intend to be in a commited and strond relationship he has to give a little on some of the above things you have mentioned because providing for you with everything doesn't mean he should ignore you that makes it seem like a parent turning on the television and leaving it to babysit the kid so she won't be disturbed and it seems a little controlling too like he can give you stuff to shut you up but get all three people together and let them know how you feel in the end it will save your sanity.
I can understand your parents concern since he does not sound like a very good catch at all. The temper would bother me. He puts work first would bother me. Being jealous would bother me. These are very important qualities to consider and you are the one saying all of this!!! You seem to be making excuses for him. He does not seem to be someone who I would plan a future with at all. If you are in your 30's, I would think that you would be seriously looking at a committed, married relationship and I think that you would be very sorry if you continued with this guy. However, it is your life and should do as you please in that department. You need to set boundaries with your parents that you will not discuss your relationships with them.....period. You are not a little girl who needs their permission. You need to take control in this area. Stop allowing them to beat you up and criticise you. If they start on you.....remind them of the boundaries and if they do not stop........walk away.....leave. Stand up for yourself. Now, do you get both of these concepts???? Good......now take some control over your life and make good decisions.
Ummmmm, you are a grown up in your 30s. Tell your parents that you appreciate their looking out for you but that because you are an adult, they need to back off and let you make your own decisions. That is so sad they stalk you and try to tell you who to date when you are in your 30s. They need to get a life if they still want to monitor yours. They are far too controlling but the thing is, you let them. You need to stand up for yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment