Relationship advice needed from intelligent women:?

I got in a very bad fight with my fiance (together for 2 1/2 years) last Sunday. We both overreacted. I was mean and later she said she was scared even though nothing physical came close to happening. The next morning I profusely apologized, but she said one of us had to go for a while, because she needed space. She said the apologies just made her angrier. I packed my bag and have been staying at a friends.


She called me on Wed. about something trivial, and then after talking to her for a bit, she let me know how angry, hurt and upset she felt. She told me she didn't want to see anyone else, but didn't care what i did (she said follow my conscience) and that the dogs missed me. Then I thanked her for communicating with me, but she said not to call her unless I needed something. I sent her an email telling her I appreciated her viewpoints and to talk to me when she is ready. What now? Is she being unfair? Is this just a long breakup? How do I procede? Translate this pleaseRelationship advice needed from intelligent women:?
You scared her. It will take a while for her to be comfortable with you again.


She's not ready to move on, but she says you can. (this can be a test! Think FRIENDS when Rachel and Ross had their ';Break';)


Just give her the space she needs... She'll come around eventually. Make sure you're available for her, and that when she's ready, you're there.Relationship advice needed from intelligent women:?
I suggest giving your fiance some time to miss you. In a couple days, try sending her flowers to her work or home with a note that says something simple like ';miss you'; or ';thinking of you.';





It's a good sign that she has communicated, though. Since she right out asked for space, just let her cool down. Good luck.
dunno
you don't day what was the spat all about, that got her so upset.
In order to resolve this she needs to understand why she felt scared. There may be some underlying issues that can only be addressed in therapy. Having some space could be a good thing, or it could be the end of your relationship but because she felt scared before you can't force the issue. The 'follow your conscience' remark combined with 'don't call unless you need something' suggest she needs to hear from you what you want, but no-one can say for sure unless you discuss it with her. You could maybe suggest you meet for dinner on neutral ground and see if she relaxes enough for you to discuss your relationship. It's good that you listened and respected her wishes. Sometimes you need to pay attention to what is not said, as well as what is.
She sounds like she need a break as we all do at times, but its unfair for you to be in the dark in this situation. What you need to do is ask her where does this relationship stand, because where you are in this relationship(fiance) you should never be in the dark about things like this. Tell her your bothered by this and even if this is the end you need to know.
You are being tested, my friend. Translation is that she is really mad but not mad enough to let you go. Do not be fooled by the ';she didn't want to see anyone else, but didn't care what i did (she said follow my conscience)'; statement, because if you see somebody else, she'll blow a gasket. The dogs missing you is code for she does too, but is trying to teach you a lesson about whatever happened during the argument to ';scare her';. She is being a bit unfair by telling you not to call unless you ';need something'; and I'd call a couple times a week because you ';need'; to talk to her or something. She may be checking to see what hoops you are willing to jump through. Only you can decide that one, buddy! Good luck, because she may just be exhibiting game-player qualities that are likely to get worse, rather than better.
Oh lord!!! Beg, beg, and beg (I mean if you really want her back) Thats all she needs and wants right now, TRUST ME.
Well this sounds a little strange. I mean yeah you got in a big fight and she needed space that is fine. To call you some days later over something so trivial means maybe she just wanted a reason to call. I do not think that the one you are supposed to marry no matter the fight should take a break. Her saying to you do what ever you want to do but that she doesn't want to see anyone herself says to me she is trying to push you away. You should send her an email telling her how much you love her and say everyone argues. You said yourself she was scared but not ever went in that direction but you also said you were mean so maybe she thought eventually it could turn physical. She loves you but she also needs to know that she is your life and that when you said sorry should not have made her more mad. She has to understand everyone makes mistakes. People are mean to others sometimes and it is not intended. I am not saying it is right but she needs to know you are not ready to give up. If she still says don't call me unless you need something she is done with the relationship. Try calling her and say you do need something and that is her maybe that is all she needs to hear. Good Luck!
If she said to follow your concience, you need to do the following:





1) Buy a dozen red roses


2) pack your things and go back home -- leave your things in the car


3) Give her the roses


4) Apologize again -- not for what you did, but for the fact that you hurt her in the process.


5) Tell her that if there is still the hope of marriage, that you would be willing to go to couple's counseling with her so you could learn how to communicate better with each other and how to get through disagreements (don't use the word ';fight'; or ';arguement';) better, because there will always be disagreements in any relationship, and to make a good couple, it would be best to learn together how to handle them in the future.


6) Hug her (DON'T KISS HER -- let HER kiss you first).


7) Ask her if she would let you move back in some time soon. Don't let her know you have your things. If she says you can move back in now, tell her you will go get your things. Leave for an appropriate amount of time (not TOO long) and come back.





Good luck.
Sounds like you are on square one. You never should have left, thats not the way to handle disagreements, but neither is being mean and frightening her. Call her and tell her you need something....her. Then offer to go to counciling with her so you could learn how to disagree so that it is a useful procedure and not just an argument. Then go.
If the fight was about something in particular, dependent on how serious it was (and if it *was* about one particular thing, it must have been pretty bad), that something may be the kind of something that will prevent you from being able to succeed in a relationship. However, at the moment, I think she's being fair. You're both handling this very well; many others would be very immature and selfish in the same situation. With her being so affected by this, it's probably best you stay apart so she can objectively work her pain out. Having you around may only exacerbate the problems between the two of you, as your presence could act like an amplifier for her anger. Most of the time, ';breaks'; and ';space'; are a segue for those who find themselves in a bind between breaking up with their other and staying with them - to be perfectly honest, it's usually the wimpy way out of a relationship if it wasn't made clear that you were, in fact, breaking up. She doesn't sound like she's ready for anything drastic, though, so when she says ';space';, she probably means space. Even so, eventually, you're going to have to straight up ask her what you two can do to work out your problems and whether or not she even still wants to be with you. Nobody on Yahoo Answers is going to know what she really wants out of you and all of this. I would try my best to do this in person, and be sure to stay absolutely calm no matter how angry she may get - getting all worked up doesn't bring anyone anything but grief. I would, however, wait it out just a bit longer. She may come to her senses after she's gained some clarity, but don't let yourself be a slave to her indecision.
she is probably reevaluating the relationship as a whole and need this time to do it. give her some space.
It's a little hard to say...you said you were ';mean'; and that she said she felt scared. Think for a minute...were you abusive to her? (Abusive doesn't just mean hitting. It can mean words, and making her feel threatened.) If the fight got bad enough that she was actually SCARED, then she is most likely feeling like you just might not be the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with. She's probably imagining that if it was this bad this time, how bad is it going to get NEXT time you have a fight? And what if the fight is worse? My guess is that it's really not looking good for your relationship right now. I'd back off for a while, and let her come to you. If she doesn't come to you to talk after a couple of weeks, maybe drop her a note, and tell her that you'd like to talk to her if she's ready.
Don't push her it will just piss her off even more. Just give her some time and she should come around. I hope everything works out.
It sounds to me like you really said something harsh (known or unknown to you) that really pushed a major button inside of her. She probably never saw you angry like that and is thinking if you'll behave like that or go past that once you are married. Women are so complex so you need to do two things. You need to give her her space, but not too much space. Let her know you love her. That ';follow your conscience'; thing is to see if you love her or not. If you love her you won't talk to someone else, if you're anything less than honerable with her...you will talk to someone else. She loves you and wants to be with you. You just have to let her know how she makes you feel. When you met, how she smells. Oh, and try not to scare her again you bad boy...:%26gt; Good luck
Forget all the yelling thats all emotional fluff


Get back to basics


Do you want to continue with her?





Or would you like to use this oportunity to bed a few women?


If thats the case you are not ready!!


.....
Once a girl and a guy get into a fight like you guys did the girl always need there space. so maybe since yall have got into a fight she does need her space. The best thing that i would do is when she is ready to be with you again then she will call you and talk to you. since she said that she didnt want to be with anybody else but you then she isnt breaking up with you she just wants to be alone to think about the situation that has happened. just give her, her space and trust me when she is ready she will call you i have had to go through the same situation
If shes anything like me, she probably realizes she overreacted but it just too proud to apologize right now. give her some time, and if shes worth it eventually she will suck it up and feel comfortable reaching out again. She knows you love her, and isnt expecting you to do anything when you two are apart (saying she doesnt care what you do with other women is a load of BS, its just what women say to make you think they dont care about you anymore). Anyway if your relationship is meant to be, it will repair itself. Otherwise, if you arent soulmates afterall at least you dont have to go through a messy divorce.
Call her and tell her you do need something, her, and this time apart has made you realize just how much you miss her and love her. Tell her you want to talk it out. You want to make this work. And if she turns that down maybe she does need some space. Give her spaced calls saying you just wanted to check and see how she is doing, that will also let her know you care. And if she doesn't respond to that maybe it is a permanent thing, but it doesn't sound like it to me
Sounds like you did all you could do for now. Give her space and more time to sort her thoughts. What ever happened obviously hurt deep or maybe other wises she is an over reactor..Send her flowers with a note apologizing once again and you miss her tell her you will be anticipating her reply......If no reply or answer give up and let her be. If she loves you she will see how Petty she is being for carrying on this resentment for so long.
When someone needs space; in my experience means she has or is thinking about someone else.
Ask one of her girlfriends what's going on with her. Maybe give her a few days to calm down cuz she's obviously still very upset with you.
Trust me, she probably DOES care what you do as far as seeing other people. Most of us say we don't care what you do but the truth is, we don't want you with anyone else!! Especially if she already said SHE wasn't interested in seeing someone else and made a point to tell you this.





Sounds to me like she just needs some space, give it to her. Wait and see if she responds to your email and don't act crazy or smother her like some psycho. But, DO keep in contact just a little. This will let her know you do not want to lose her. And, make sure you tell her you don't want to lose her and list the reasons why. This means a lot.





Sometimes to save a relationship, we have to humble ourselves a little and swallow some pride but it all pays off in the end.
I'm no expert, but I'll try to help you. There are many plausible reasons for her actions, and should none of them apply, then maybe she IS being a bit unreasonable.





You said she was your FIANCEE. It's definately possible that she wants a glimpse of her future with you. There will DEFINATELY be future arguements, especially ones that are blown out of proportion. But now that she's seen how much you truly want to settle this fight, she'll be assured that marrying you is something she wont regret. On the other hand, she might be a little afraid of committment. Are you planning to get married soon? If so, she might just be having a little nervous breakdown. It's completely normal.





You should consider giving her time to think this over. If she's wise, she'll look at both sides of the arguement, rather than just being biased towards her own self. I'd say a day or two should be enough time to get her mindset on how YOU'RE feeling about this.





I hope this helped. Good luck. =)
i think she still cares about you. but something major seems to have happened during that fight. it seems like you two aren't talking like people that have been together for 2.5 years. it seems a little awkward. make sure that you want to be with her for the long haul. if you think or know she is worth it, then tell her that. i would also suggest not dating because she would definitely use that against you. i think that is a test. good luck, i know how much fights can suck.
My question is what the heck did you do/say to her to scare her?
Sounds like a game to me. If you can't talk out your differences and move on maybe it's a good thing for you this happened. Sounds like she is waiting for you to come begging back to her. She still cares or she would not be calling. Believe me, I have played this game before. Mainly when I felt rejected and like was lacking attention and love from my man.





If you really want to work things out with her, give her what she wants. A hug, a romantic evening and your undivided attention.





Again, this is just my perspective. Everyone is different.