Need major relationship advice please..

My girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 years now, I am 22 and she is nearing 18 (next month). Now mind you, I am not a partying 22 year old, I have a successful job, dont drink or do drugs of any kind, dont smoke. I always buy her flowers, and write her nice notes inside cards, but anyway onto the question.





For about a month now things have been off for us, she is majorly bipolar and refuses to get on medication because it makes her into zombie, I am fine with that. Last month we got into a fight and broke up (this happens very frequently, happens when shes in her ';moods'; and we always get back together when she gets out of her ';moods';) it turns out that she went to one of her friends houses afterwords, and had S*x with him for about 5 minutes unti lshe realized it was wrong, and stopped, and felt horrible. She didnt expect me to take her back, but I am a nice guy so I told her one week is all she has to show me how much she loves me and cares for me, it was A GREAT week. So I took her back. NOW she is saying she wants her time to herself to clear her head and think, and try to get her bipolarness under control. I told her I would wait, but she said she doesnt want me to wait because she may not want to be in a relationship in the end... I am not sure what to do, I am thinking of giving her a couple months to think (and hope she doesnt sleep around while doing it)... and ask her if she still wants to be together. When she is not in a bipolar mood, she is everything I want, I really dont want to throw away 2 years of some of the best memories of my life like this.. Advice would be greatly appreciated :\Need major relationship advice please..
Dear Mr. Make it Better:





While you may have feelings for this young lady--I understand. But by the time you are 32 and then 42, you are not going to have the energy it takes to worry about her, bipolar, and promiscuity. She has obvious mental health issues that really may be beyond the point and scope of your help. Refusing the meds is normal with people who have the disorder.





I also have empathy for you wanting to show some loyalty for the 2 years put in the relationship but 2 years can be summed up--and if this person is mentally ill I think anyone would give you carte blanche to ';walk'; should you choose.





Her behaviors concern me--having unprotected sex w/strangers or otherwise unknown people places you are risk for HPV, Herpes and many other STD's--





Really consider letting this relationship go--no one will fault you. Start over--you have your entire life ahead of you.





Be good!Need major relationship advice please..
If her medication is making her into a ';zombie,'; then she is not taking the right medication, or is not taking it as prescribed. I guarantee it. My wife is severely bipolar, takes her medication regularly as prescribed, gets therapy, and stays in constant communication with her doctors. When things don't feel right, she tells them so. I help by monitoring her moods and actions, and we work together to get over the hump. Listen, my boy, bipolar is a DISEASE. Not taking the medication is like not seeking treatment for cancer. Frankly, it can kill, because bipolar sufferers are high risks for suicide and risky behavior that causes accidents. My wife leads a perfectly normal life, and we have virtually NO problems in our relationship. Like you with her, she is everything I want. It does not happen, however, without proper treatment of the disease.





So the best thing you can do is to be supportive and be part of her bipolar solution. Educate yourself on bipolar disease and be proactive in helping her cope with it. But if she is not willing to do her part, then you are wasting your time. Don't throw away 2 years of your great memories by overshadowing them with 2 more years of wasted time and bad memories if she won't seek treatment. That said, if you let her alone for two months to think, I can almost guarantee your relationship is over- bipolar or no bipolar. Who, if truly in love, would just let their loved one go? Either take a stand, or let her go. Those are really your only two options.





You are a well-meaning and insightful person. I wish you the best of luck!





p.s. Regarding medication, if one medication makes her a zombie, try something else. Mental illness is not an exact science, and it takes trial and error to find the right mix of medications to balance out the bipolar with your every day life. What works for one person might now work on another, and what works at first might stop working later. It varies greatly. For example, my wife's sex drive took a HUGE dive early in our relationship when she was on lithium and prozac, and we discussed it with the doctor. He adjusted it, changed things around, and it worked out. Later she had a meltdown, and we adjusted again. It was brief, and she's been as good as new for several years now without incident. That is why constant communication is so important. The more you do it, the quicker you head off the problems before they blow up into something big like you're describing.





Another really good point, too: careful when blaming things on the bipolar. Sometimes it is, indeed, just the mood swings. Sometimes, however, there is a real relationship problem. Make sure you know the difference. Again, good luck!
well, since she is bipolar when she gets into these states, it's really out of her control.





i have a close friend that is bipolar, and she's married to a very kind and understanding guy just like yourself....





he is very affectionate and gives her the benefit of the doubt, however my friend does take medications...which really do help. i do understand that they make one a zombie sometimes, but if it's in the right dose and she's in the right environment, it's very helpful (i have my masters in psych)...





i wouldn't cut ties completely, as it's clear that the 2 of you care for one another....a couple months sounds reasonable for her to get her thoughts together, but it might turn out that she doesn't want to be in any relationship...but if you give her that time to think about what she does want, it might make your relationship even stronger b/c she'll see how it would be to be without you...





you sound like this relationship is a great one and i really do think that the 2 of you can make it work...you see things in perspective and the 2 of you are lucky to have each other!!





i know what it feels like to not want to throw away some of the best times you've had over the last 2 years. i think that if you work on it, it'll happen! i'm trying to see if i could get my ex back too...and boy it would be AWESOME!!!





best of luck to you!!